I’m not suggesting we shouldn’t think about what we think about. Not at all. It is necessary to have an understanding of the thought patterns we engage in…the ruts that are dug into our brains, the thoughts we synthesize to form ideas; their interactions, their evolution, their outcomes, the modes that interface them, the goals and desires that power them.
But somewhere along the line, some of us (as in myself) have unconsciously adopted the belief that we must somehow outthink our thoughts. To which end we begin a vicious cycle of self-negating circular reasoning and proceed to drive ourselves into the ground.
Or the insane asylum, whichever comes first.
We have resolved at any cost to master — and ultimately to beat — the system, indifferent to the fact that the system is us, and the task therefore impossible.
As I grapple to subdue it, bombarding it from all sides with every ounce of mental energy — analyzing it, assessing it — it slowly dawns on me that I am not controlling it at all.
It is controlling me.