It comes as naturally to me as breathing. I dissect. I synthesize. I dissect from a different angle and re-synthesize. I investigate every possible alternative and plan for every possible contingency. I am careful and calculated.

Problem is, sometimes there is nothing to calculate. Sometimes I can’t know. Maybe sometimes I’m not supposed to know.

But I have to know…don’t I?

So I sit and calculate and re-calculate until I don’t even remember why I’m calculating (by this time, my window of opportunity for decision has long since ceased to exist). Then I second-guess my second-guess.

Rinse and repeat.

It’s like trying to run a coffee pot without water. You can percolate and re-percolate as much as you like. But not one drop of goodness is going to come out the other side, no matter how long and arduous the process.

(Not to mention it will probably burn up the motor.)


2 thoughts on “Second-guessing.

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